August 6, 2006

Oh my goodness I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write!!! Sometimes when there is so much going on on the personal front, one does not know what to talk about. It's all too loaded or not appropriate or basically not for public consumption. "Capiche?", as Piper says or "Know what I mean, jelly bean?" as my mom says (to me anyway) or "Do you understand what I'm saying?" which is what I say boringly and with way too much seriousness, as usual.

A -N -Y HOO, I am jetlagged. I was asleep from 12 until 2am but then moved to the bed and nothing could get me to sleep. Not bad tv, and I mean REALLY bad esp. as we currently only have four stations, or cards, even though I was losing...so I got up made toast, emailed P and thought what a perfect opportunity to write to strangers around the world!

Oh by the way, I am pregnant; which I have no doubt many of you know from the ridiculous tabloids around the globe but it so happens to be the one thing out of so much of nonsense, that is true. And I am very excited. And I am very fat.

So this year has not been about work at all really but about endings and beginnings and change and growth and pain and happiness and ultimately SLOWING DOWN. I do not mean that so much on the work front, although it has been a gift to not have to put on a brave face in front of the camera, but more on a personal front. Taking stock of what is important to me, what matters, what I actually want my life to look like.

It's hard to remember sometimes that it is our CHOICE! I have spent so much of my life responding to what is happening to me from the outside instead of instigating things from the inside based on who I am and what my beliefs are and what I want my world, my days, my little unit of life to look like. And it takes time and space and breath and patience to be able to listen to be able to even HEAR WHAT ONE WANTS, let alone make the necessary adjustments in order to create the shift.

So I am creating space to write. Finally my GOD when is she going to get that damned project off the ground?!!! How many years has it been now?!! What the hell is taking her so long! Yeah well, life. The 'L' word (the other one). And of course, CREATING LIFE. Which, I have to say, the first time round I was oblivious to the miracle and the stages and the joy. I mean, honestly, I cannot remember P kicking! Was it the hours, the FX smoke, the dummies with maggots eating their eyes out? What distracted me from such an important and momentous experience!?

And so it looks like that's gonna be it for the rest of the year. Birth and "Speed of Light" and rest and "Last King of Scotland" comes out Sept./Oct. and in the new year, around the time I have hopefully shrunk back down to something resembling a human being, "Straightheads", and then it looks like finally, filming on "NO One Gets Off In This Town". I love that script. Was looking forward to doing it in a fat suit but looks like it's gonna push. No really.

And as far as the X-F movie? I have no f****** clue. I think there's still a law suit, as far as I know the script has not been written, and as much as we all want it to take place as soon as possible, AND YES THAT INCLUDES ME, AND ALWAYS HAS, SO STOP WITH THE NONSENSE! It is out of my hands. Completely. Write to Fox guys, tell them to make it happen!

Okay it's 6:30 am and I think we're gonna walk the dog ( STAFFORDSHIRE bull terrier and no I don't own snakeskin boots) and maybe breakfast in an empty restaurant while reading the papers.

That's it for now and hopefully it won't be so damned LONG before I write again. Oh and I just got a letter from Samson who has graduated with honors and going into the graduate program and who I think will be writing to all of you who supported his education through the years to thank you. You guys have no idea how awesome it is for someone who has come from sleeping in front of the refrigerator on the floor of a shack in the South African ghetto to be going to graduate school. I mean can you imagine?!!! And also remember that there are still more students who could have the opportunity to do the same but they do need continued fund raising support. Thank you for everything you guys do. You should be so proud of yourselves.

That's really all for now.

Till soon,

Gill.